5th - 14th Nov 09 Tushita - 10 Day Intro to Buddhism Meditation Silent retreat!

I have returned from a 10 day Slient retreat up in Dharmkot, up from Mccload Gange. I know many people would think that I could not possibly stay quite for 10 days but i did just about manage it! Well I managed 8 days anyway, then the yoga teachers in the group broke & had a mini chat about yoga, hehe we couldnt resist! I am really glad i did the retreat which was a very last minute decsion, as it was the last 10 day course of the year as its getting too cold. After we checked in we were shown to our dorms which were a bit like dungeons, then we were given some food & everyone got their last chats in before the silence began at 7.30pm. After looking forward to doing such a retreat things didnt begin exactly as I would have liked! Within the first 30mins of the first teaching & meditation I started to feel a little uncomfortable, then I suddenly couldnt sit any longer & jumped up from the floor, ran out of the Gompa (Tibetan name for temple) & just managed to make it down the steps before projectile vomitting everywhere! My silence was broken already as a nurse on the course came to make sure i was ok! She said afterwords that it was a spectacular site! I then had to quickly run to the loo, oh no my turn had come already for the dreaded delhi belly! On the upside I was then put into a single room for the night!

My tummy pretty much stayed the same for 10 days, each time I thought it was better I starting eating properly again & it was always a mistake! However I wasnt alone, just about everyone (40+ people on the course) got sick & got a cold. The teaching & meditation sessions were like a symthony of sniffs & sneezes & people running for the loo. Despite the silence everyone was really sympathetic & you knew we were all suffering together!

Our schedule was pretty busy with the first meditation starting at 6.45 & so i got up at 5.30am to do my yoga practice, then we would have a serious of teachings & meditations up until 9pm. Here & there we would have 30 min, 60min breaks & we all had Karma yoga jobs. I was super greatful for my job which was to clean the yoga room, the 2nd best job, the 1st was been the yoga teacher. However I was lucky that I got a turn at teaching everybody when Natasha (yoga teacher) got sick. It was good experience for all us yogi's teaching 20,30 people. I also ended up teaching silent yoga to a few keen people at 5.30am! That was a learning experience! My fellow yoga teachers were all great & it was so nice to get new ideas & share experiences (obviously since the retreat has finished!). I did feel for the people who had to clean the toilets, I am sure I will get that job if I do another retreat like this.

Learning about Tibetan Buddhism was v.interesting but by day 5 I feel i was starting to get a little distracted, I know this as there are doodles & badly drawn scary Buddhas in my note book! However this may have been the combo of getting sick, silence & consistant meditation practices. Some of the meditations were really intense, for me one we did on 'forgiveness' really opened something up & left me at the end of the session in tears & feeling like it wasnt finished! These things take years & years of practising & letting go apparently. Also another one that stands out was on 'anger', I am not an angry person but during this med I felt really uncomfortable due to my stomach gargling away & bloated & found it super hard to concentrate. At one point i felt like screaming & running out of the Gompa saying "Anger, Anger, i wasnt angry before but i am now". Luckily I restrained myself & managed to sit through the rest of the med even though my head felt like it might explode. Its amazing how some of the Meditations my knees, legs, tummy were fine & others were just killers, even sitting for a few minutes was tough & your mind would be racing! I have to say that as the week went on sitting did get easier, not that that made the meditations any easier. We did do a few chants which i loved.
Vajrasattva
Om mani Padme Hum
May all beings be free have happiness.....
Although I learned so much about Tibetan Buddhism & agree with lots of elements of it, I still found it hard to get my head around re-incarnation & Karma. From a Buddhist perspective the fact that I had about 5 bikes stolen in 4 years was due to my bad Karma in a previous life, i must have been a thief! Anyway elements to do with Attachment, Impermanence , attachment & emptiness were v.interesting & I will be definately be doing more reading but not turning Buddhist any time soon!

Once my sis asked me how I could have a Buddha in my front room when it had religeous conatations & i wasnt a Buddhist. My answer at the time was Buddhism is a philosophy, a way of life, now I would say the same but it can also be said to have certain religious practices, rituals, praying etc. However the Buddha itsself embodies"Peace, Happiness, compassion, free from suffering" & everyone has Buddhanature at their core they just dont access this".

Anyway the silence at times I found more funny than anything, particularly when we were doing walking meditation! You basically walk up & down a small distance v.slowly & with hands behind your back or in front. I found it v.entertaining as everyone looked like zombies so i had a little laugh to myself! I know the silence did me good & I only had a few times that I really felt that I would like to talk, maybe because we had 1 hour a day in discussion groups so it took the pressure off a little. One thing I forgot to mention was how cold it got, the weather really is getting to winter now in Dharmasala & we felt it living inside for most of the day in our blankets & sleeping in our dungeons!

One of the days we got to walk upto a Stupa sites, it was a walking mediation up there for 20mins, this was v. nice scenery but did feel kind of strange going out of our4oo m radious where we had been living for 8days!

Once we were allowed to speak again at 9am on day 10, it was v. funny as everyone introduced themselves properly yet we all seemed to know each other in a v.diff way! Then once we escaped the grounds & went out for dinner we all had a lovely postiive energy & we did find ourselves probably ranting a little but being more mindful of it, even if we couldnt stop ourselves! I hung out with my new yogi friends for a couple of days afterwards to share thoughts, experiences which i really enjoyed. I am going to travel & hang out with Natasha & Lori & Jay going to & in Goa!

Norbulingka & McCload Gange..

Next door to Ispiice is a Tebatan institute called Norbulingka, its a centre which is preserving Tibetan culture. I visited it for the first time the other day & found it so peaceful & relaxing. It has a beautiful temple set in Japenese style gardens. There is a huge golden budha, a traditional Tibetan wood work centre, sewing workshop & Tibetan doll museum. To my delight the cafe is so peaceful with the sound of water features & trees all around. Also they serve my favorite ginger & lemon tea & cake! I can see myself becoming a regular there!

I have spent the w.end in McCload which is a tourist hotspot hill station town. It is where the DL temple is & there is a mix of Tibetans, Indian, Japenese & western people. Despite it been an obvious tourist trap with stalls & stalls lining the streets selling everything from Tibetan Yak wool blankets (necessity round here at night!), Buddhas, Mo mo's(delicious parcels of food, a bit like Gautzers), I really like it. Everyone who has travelled around India however says its a break from India! I am staying at a hotel that costs 200 rupees or 2.60pounds & although basic is fine & i awoke on Sun morn to the sounds of chanting coming from the temple. I love chanting & it sounded so beautiful. I ventured to a yoga class on Sun morn, i have to say it was the most comedy value class I have ever been too! The teacher was an indian & had the most hilarious voice, he seemed like he should be a gay bolliwood star! His exhales consisted of snorting really loudly! At first i thought it was just for the breathing exercises but it continued throughout the class! He continually saying things like "no money tension, no work tension, no food tension & noooooooooo friend tension, only positive thoughts,negative thoughts outside, all problems will be gone!". I expect reading this you cant imagine how this sounds funny so I have asked a guy i met at the class (Paul) to film him so I can post it. He is just a classic! His yoga practice was quite different to the way i would teach,no alignment & insisting people should do things which they cannot do because of their body types! If nothing else the class made me laugh internally throughout it & thats a good thing!

In the evening myself & Paul went to a local Tibetan & then modern music gigs! The first the guy who organises the events was so humble, apologising to the audience for not having chairs to sit on but they rely on donations to keep the charity going. Everywhere in Mccload there are many charities raising awareness & funds to make people aware of what is happening in Tibet with the Chinese government. Its quite moving to see people who spend their lives fighting to free their country. There are many centres that put on evening talks, I went to one where a Tibetan Monk described his escape from Tibet after he had been held in detention by the chinese & beaten for protesting against the government. It really is shocking!

Fire ..... Fire.....Rubbish..

On Thursday with the community class kids we decided to educate them on their environment & have a litter picking session! We informed the kids that rubbish would pollute their streams where they wash their clothes etc. This went down well with the kids, the adults around the community watched on, starring like we were mad! Thinking afterwords we decided they associate picking rubbish with rag pickers! Rubbish in India is a big problem, not only is it everywhere even in the beautiful mountain towns but people actively just drop litter anywhere & everywhere. It doesnt matter what type of person (caste, class, rich, poor etc) they all do it, dropping litter as they go!

After we spent a good hour collecting we then had the problem of where does it go next. I asked where Ispiice rubbish went, no one was sure. Then before we had time to work out what to do with it, the family had lit a fire & the rubbish was promtly burnt! Oh NO!!!!! Plastic & all, there was a terrible smell all evening because of the plastic.... Whats worse rubbish in the streams, roads etc or fires everywhere polluting the atmosphere!

In a way we cannot have a go at poeple in INdia as there is no alternative to burning rubbish, if they were provided with bins, they do not have the infrastructure in place for collections to take place, the roads are so bad generally, how would collections take place & then where do you put rubbish in a country so overpopulated with people! In the mountain hill stations & towns there are signs to get people to buy filtered water from shops rather than buying plastic bottles. I have started doing this when I am in Mccloud but sadly thats not where i live. I decided that I couldn't go on buying plastic bottles but on the same day i decided this Aoife decided she needed to start drinking bottled water. After months of her drinking filtered water she has recently continually been sick! What a dilemma! It reminds me all the time of Slumdog Millionaire!

Later that night I did the most stupid thing, I know everyone reading will think what a muppet but i thought i would share anyway! I managed to do a real Helen thing, I set my tv on fire in my room! Whoops!! i haven't ever switched it on but now i managed to burn quite a large significant hole in it! Luckily i caught the fire before it got to the electrics & it just caused a lot of burnt plastic & bad smell in my room. I managed to look up in time to blow it out but it did shock me a little, the thought that I could have set my room & Ispiice rooms on fire was a little wake up call for me. Lesson of the day:- Dont burn candles on top of a tv! The bad thing is that i was aware that what i was doing was wrong & new I should move, if not blow the candle out but I didnt & then it was too late!!!

ISPIICE

Back at Ispiice, I spent the rest of the week going with the volunteers to the day care centre & helping out at the community class in the afternoons. At the day care centre we are currently painting the walls, putting ABC< pics & hindi writing on the walls to bring some life to the small room where young children come to play. This is a state day care centre & it seems that the teachers have little or no interest in playing with the kids, shocking really. One teacher seems to read her register & do calculations all morning! So the volunteers come & interact with the kids & give them drawing & games to do. Otherwise they often just sit, with very little life or anything to stimulate them. On Friday one of the kids wet herself & there was a puddle on the floor, the teachers were just going to leave it & they do just walk through it & let the kids, but then i passed some newspaper to them & they cleaned it up! It is amazing to watch, but i have to say these kids hardly cry, that is something i have noticed of all indian kids, even on very long, bumpy, uncomfortable bus journeys they dont cry or if they do its for a v.short time!

On a positive note, the kids of the local community where Ispiice is are so wonderful & keen to come to class after their school day ends, to have english & computer classes. The kids are so cute, they run upto Ispiice building which is next door to the house we go to, so that they can carry our things across. Everyone of them comes upto you & shakes your hand & says "hello Mam".

The house we go to is a family house however they have no money which is obvious as there are no windows in the frames & no paint or plaster on the walls. The whole family live in one room, sleep & cook. It is getting to winter here so it is so cold on a night & they all sleep without windows, i dont know how they do it. Yet the woman is one of the most loving people i have ever met, every day smiling & she always gives you a hug. Apparently Ispiice said to her that maybe they should move to another community as they had spent a lot of time with the kids in Sidhpur but she pleaded for them not to leave. She is so grateful to the help Ispiice gives the kids, its really moving. I have said that I will use some of the cake money that I raised back in the UK to paint the room where the kids learn, we are still working out how the rest of the money can be used most effectively.

Ispiice is a v.small charity which Varun set up, he is a lovely warm hearted guy that will run around looking after the volunteers making sure they are happy. Aoife is my friend from home & since coming as a volunteer she loved what Ispiice was doing & is now helping run the charity, getting volunteers & looking at ways they can get Ispiice involved in helping other areas of the community. It is very honorable dedicating all her time without pay to the charity. She is always working, even on Saturdays!

I have been teaching yoga to the volunteers on top of the roof where we stay! I do my own practice at 7.30 & then teach at 8.30. I feel privileged to be teaching with the beautiful mountains in the background & with the sun coming up & every day beautiful blue skies!

Dharmasala to Chamba over Indrahar Pass .. 1800M to 4300M

I have now returned from what i thought was a 6 day trek but turned out to be 5! It was a wonderful experience & despite nearly freezing on a night I loved been out in the mountains & hiking for 5 days. The first couple of days were pretty easy, I am glad though as we met people who were rushing upto the top of the Indrahar pass in 2 days & they had headaches, the altitude me thinks. The first night we camped at a place called Triund (2800m), although

beautiful place to camp, I was sooooooooooooooooo cold in the night I thought I wouldnt be able to continue sleeping outside for another 4 nights! However once I did some yoga with a wonderful view of the mountains I revived myself from lack of sleep & didnt worry that it was likely to be colder the 2nd night! On the trek with me was an Israli guy called Yahof, then our guide Baboo & his bro, Camel. At our camp on the first night we met 2 dutchies & i managed to get them all to learn the international travelling card game "shit head". Oh & although I thought I had done super well only bringing my tiny Solamon bag with me, for once I wasnt a bag lady but everyone thought i was crazy to have so little for 6 days ! Baboo then gave me one of his back packs, along with my sleeping bag & roll mat & told me to carry that! At least now i know I can hike with a bigger back pack, something I thought i would hate!

The 2nd day we hiked upto Lhes cave (3500m) & literally ate & slept in a cave. I actually prefered this as it felt warmer than in the tent! I will post a pic! On the way up we met a guy from another village who was hiking already for 2 days, carrying leaves to another village. He must have been about 70 & his back pack consisted of blankets with ropes around it. Apparently he wasnt allowed to travel on the bus with the leaves so does a 3 day hike! Madness.....

At the cave we met another 2 hikers, one French & one Spanish, the spanish guy didnt speak english so we had to speak in Spanish! A fully international cave!

The 3rd day was my favourite, although it was a tough climb upto the Indrahar pass (4300m - nearly as high as Mont Blanc!) the stunning views of the Himalayas at the top made it all worth while. Then as we went over the other side the top was all covered in snow, so I got to jump around in it pretending i had my board, as we made our way down for lunch in the snow! I have to say by the time we had lunch I have never enjoyed super noodles so much! By the time we got to our camping spot, which was between two mountains & there was still snow all around, it was already super chilly. We had our dinner cooked on an open fire & then sat around drinking the usual Chai (something I grew to love whilst treking) & trying to keep warm. That night however I gave up trying to get warm, despite Yahof kindly giving me his warmer sleeping bag & having about 20 layers on, looking like michelin woman, I could not get warm or sleep. So i thought i would listen to my ipod & dose & look forward to daylight! Eventually i may have caught a couple of hours on & off! I was super glad when daylight came & chai was passed into the tent. That morning I did not do yoga as i had done previously as I was just too cold to get out of my sleeping bag!

Day 4 treked to a beautiful village of Kuarsi. I was so suprised by this village as it reminded me of buildings out in the Alps in Switzerland. Beautiful wood, large houses except with the ground floor used for the cows/ goats & any animals they have, then people sleep on the next 2 floors, so funny to see! Earlier in the day our guides had given chai & some noodles to some forest workers, one of the guys said "come & stay with my family tonight", so we did. It was so amazing to see how these village people lived, very simple living areas but I really liked it, everyone sits on the floor in the kitchen with a kind of Argha fire on the floor, used for cooking & heat. There is a seperate area for washing hands & then bedrooms, it was so simple but what was funny is that they have a satelite dish on the roof & t'vs in the b.rooms but also energy saving lightbulbs in the rooms!

We tried the local rum, enjoyed home made food, (I am just loving all the INdian home cooked food, at Ispiice it is just fabulous as well!) & then in the morning got up to wander round the village & see everyone doing their daily jobs. We saw guys 70+ using a traditional large hand saw that took 2 people to operate, women siving rice, woman washing clothes, kids going to school, women carrying things on their heads etc etc.

Day 5 hike turned out to be an adventure although it was probably the easist walk, as we were walking on the trail around the mountain, the area we were crossing was full of slate. We then got to a point where there were many workers & found out they were extending the path to a road. At that point they were blasting the mountain from above. My thoughts were there is no way we can cross, as i couldnt see the path for dust. Camel said there is no other way! I was a little worried then that my life could be over at one small slip & i was off the edge of the mountain. However Camel said they would clear the path a little & we could get across. As I held Camels hand to cross, he shouted at me not to look down! It was all ok & we made it to the next point where they were actually setting dynamite off into the mountain! We had to hide around the corner whilst they blasted the mountain. Quite funny to watch how they make a road, blasting it, hoping that chunks of slate stay on the path below, alot to me seemed to be falling to the river below! Anyway we got to a small town eventually & hopped on a local bus which was a very bumpy scary journey back round the mountain that was been blasted! It stopped what seemed like every 200m & more & more people got on & off. It was a classic Indian bus journey, as we went round the mountain at fast speed, i tried to focus on my book & not look out of the window as I just saw the river below & little space on the road at the side! Passing on coming traffic meant that we were even closer to dropping off the mountain but it all seemed part of the course for the locals as they didnt flinch at all! We reached Chamba & then had another night bus back to Dharmasala, this was most definitely the most bumpy bus i have ever been on, my eye mask saved the day so i couldn't see the road, head on traffic & the edge of mountains! The journey was over at 2.30am when we made it back in one peace, funny Baboo had said that the journey would take 8 hours & it took 6! That was probably the break neck speed we were going at!

After 5 days of no shower or washing my face properly, i felt like i had aged about 10 years, my skin was so dry it looked like it was flaking off! The cold mountain air had got to it! Showers here consist of filling up a bucket of water, hot if you flick a switch,which i didnt do for the first few days i was at Ispiice! Anyway been clean again was such a treat!

Words to sum up the hike:-

Beautiful, Stunning, calming, cold, fun, educational, fresh, space............

People in Dharmasala

On my last post i forgot to mention some other lovely people i met! Before i went on my trek I was wandering around the back streets of Mccloud Gange (When DL temple is) & found myself not quite sure of the way out, its really like a maze at the back of the houses & all the steps look like they lead upto poeples houses. Anyway some people behind me pointed my in the right direction & i began to follow them. These 2 Tibetan guys then invited me to have lunch with them, I said i had already eaten but before i knew it I had wandered up some more steps & into one of the guys flats! haha I did have to laugh that one minute i was lost , the next i was in a random flat. Worry not though, this is normal for people around here, they cannot do enough for you, invite you for food, to weddings etc having known you for 2 mins. I didnt stay for food as i had already eaten at the temple, after the DL's teachings the monks dished out some lovely food, dahl & rice!

Anyway within 5 mins we were having a discussion around the DL's teachings, Budhist philosophy & Bush! It was v.interesting & one of the guys organises events & is a bit of a man about town in Dharmasala. He is in the process of arranging a peaceful event in Brussels & New York on 10/10/2010 to get people to go to squares in these cities to raise awareness to free Tibet. For my ex collegues in Brussesls maybe you will go down & support the cause.

Check out www.togetherfortibet.com
Also www.tibetsun.com

People.. From Delhi to the Dalai Lama

I have had the most amazing few days since arriving in Dharmasala, it was definately the right decision to come here. Since been in Delhi where the poeple seem to be always wanting to sell you something it is refreshing to meet people who are genuinly friendly chatty people who want to inform you about there country or practice their English. In Delhi i actually expected more hassle, i only had one Vodafone shop guy give me his number & one guy ask me for my number whilst i was walking down the street! On the bus to Dharmasala I met a lovely tibetan guy called Chamba who was taking his 2 15/16 yr old girls to Tibeten school for a year as they now lived in Canada & he didnt want them to loose their culture & knowledge of Tibet.

For the last 2 days I have been to the temple where the Dalai Lama was giving his teachings. The temple is so small that I didnt manage to get inside but I did manage to get a wave & a smile from him as he was getting into the car outside. I felt very privaledged to basically stumble across the DL totally unexpected when some people had travelled for miles to see him. His teachings were very interesting, with part in English & part in Tibetan. He talked about suffering, impermanence, emptiness & practising through meditation to train the mind to think positvely & focus on other people rather than yourself! This is a tiny part of all he was talking about but it was very inspirational. Also it was interesting to watch all the poeple who were listening, everyone was very focused & calm, even when he came out of the temple poeple were quite & simply kneeling & bowing to him.

After this I managed to find some yoga mats for the volunteers at less than 4 pounds each, bargain! Then I got a lift down the mountain on a motor bike, it was so much fun looking around at the beautiful himalayas & rice fields. I really did have to pinch myself to make sure i was taking it all in. I really love Dharmasala, there is such a lovely energy here & there are yoga signs everywhere, obviously i love that!

I am now about to set off on another adventure, i am going on a 6 day trek into the mountains! I am excited but going with minimal stuff! Its not going to be like the Inka trail when me & Sarah had porters, nope I have my tiny salamon back pack with one warm jumper i just bought, borrowed hat & scarf , thermals & thats about it! It will be fun i am sure & so beautiful. So finally i cannot go near a computer, woohoo........ I am sure i will miss .....